it hurts

i know how horrible it feels to want to be seen so i carry a camera and shoot this feeling out of others? and masturbate with it too?

also what the fucccck i forgot i had found my favorite hat in march after having lost it for months... then it disappeared shortly after once the housing panic started. god damn........

also also fuck i used to dress a lot more fun. and go out more. ugh. it's too hot and non air conditioned in here for me to think anything like that though. i'm barely more than a corpse right now. it's all so heavy. so so sos os so so os so heavy. there's still so much to do. fuck.

fun camera

walm art

getting really weird with the editing here
Q+03, raws nondemosaiced, channel mixed to hell, contrast blasted, 1-bit dithered at half size

show photos are so boring..

can only see these images tagged to edit for so many months before i either gotta just edit or decide its not really worth editing

i could probably spend hours trying to get the texture to look right, but this is okay.

there are a lot of subtle things i tried out editing this one. might be on to something...

i am Enjoying having access to a tripod finally.
30 sec exposures, experimenting with turning on and off phone screens for face lighting. shout out to my friends for being way more creative with that concept than i was initially even thinking

getting in the habit of just doing this as a default. keep the Q on me all the time, really just snap and not think. its a nice change of pace from my usual meticulous processing. next up im gonna experiment with adding an aperture disk (tinfoil with hole) behind the fisheye lens to see if i can turn it into a focus-free lens.

2nd one required so much work to recover detail on the subject from the backlighting

my pinhole experiments return in the form of... just taping some tinfoil to the Q and poking a hole thru it with a needle thats wayyyy too high diameter (yet, tighter than my last attempt by a nice margin). the results? incredibly beautiful (especially in video! will share whenever i decide what to do with that footage).

normal shot.

normal shot layered with back focused shot with depth of field increased to cover everything but the subject, and a minimum focus distance shot with minimum depth of field.

same as above but "soft light" layered.

same but composed as RGB.

the 43mm f1.9 has quite a lot of focus breathing so its not too good for this effect, still pretty neat though