I sat for five minutes, not counting at all, just focusing on the breath. There were barely any thoughts passing by, although I did began while feeling a little guilty because I barely got anything done today.

I sat for five minutes on my office chair again, but had a hard time handling the large amounts of stress from all the stuff that happened during the day. I went to bed, did a body scan to relax a bit, took a nap while hugging a blåhaj, and sat again after waking up in the late evening, during which I felt much calmer and could focus on my breath.

At the end of the day, I sat for five minutes on an office chair that I use less often, which felt a bit more comfortable on my legs that the couch due to it being higher. I tried to just focus on the breath without counting, but was distracted quite a lot, so I counted just two dozens to force myself to focus.

I tried to meditate during the day but nearly fell asleep while doing so (and I had to go back to work!), and when I went to bed in the evening, of course I couldn't fall asleep. So I again meditated to sleep, but this time with less anxious thoughts and more focus on just relaxing.

I had no time and no motivation to do anything during the day, and I only realized I forgot to meditate while I was having anxious thoughts in bed, so I body scanned my way to sleep.

I was ful of distracted thoughts this morning. I tried counting using my fingers as 12s suggested on this streak's discussion board, but found that the sensation of touch on my fingers was distracting me even more from my breath.

I have been reading this book recently. I just got to the "how to actually medidate" part, and it mentions counting breaths, but only as a tool to get yourself to foucs on your breath, and to stop as soon as you have the focus. It also encourages focusing on the sensation of the breath coming in and out of your nose, unlike my own way of focusing on my chest, my lungs (that comes later when you are more accustomed to focusing on the breath). I might try to just solely rely on my timer and count less later.

I sat outside at a table in a local park that I did not know of at all, and had set up my ThinkPad to write what i Think in the note Pad, and most importantly to write what I see, do some contemplation. I remember that sitemeber is a thing, but I didn't feel comfortable keeping my eyes closed in a public spot for a few minutes, especially considering there were a few people nearby, so I kept my eyes focused on a nearby tree trunk and counted just a quarter gross, so five minutes.

Writing down what I saw was an interesting way to pay more attention to the neat details of the world and encourage me to get less anxious thoughts when outside, but for meditation specifically, I would rather keep on doing it alone, in a calm, safe place.

I did pretty much the same as yesterday, but less late. I was much less distracted right at the start.

I set the timer app to give me 10 seconds to get ready, ring a bell to mention the beginning of the session, ring a different bell every 5 minutes, and ring a third bell at the end of the timer, and then I can set the meditation duration I want in 5 minute increments. I can use that to get the "middle" bell that tells me I did the sitember goal and just decide to stop there or keep going. For now I just set the total duration to 10 minutes so I have just one bell 5 minutes in and the final bell at 10 minutes.

I meditated quite late, so I was a bit tired. I first did a few things that involved walking around the flat to wake myself up a bit, then I got started. I did a quarter gross, in which I was quite distracted. I heard the 5min bell, decided to keep going, did a body scan which forced me to move my attention around my body and busy myself enough to quiet my thoughts, and counted another quarter gross which went much better. I finished that quarter gross about 30 seconds after the final bell.

yay, one half of the streak!

I did 5 minutes, and when the bell rang, i just pressed on the start button on the phone next to me again without even opening my eyes just to do five more minutes. I did a half gross, and listened to the nearby sounds for a bit, noticing how I felt about them.

did a half gross in 10 minutes, sitting on the couch as usual in the middle of the living room. this was while a thunderstorm was slowly approaching the city, and i had all my windows open, which means there were random short and scary-sounding gusts of wind coming through. i'm usually really anxious from those gusts because i fear something is going to fall off and break, and this has helped me calm down a bit and allow the wind to cool my room down.

12s had recommended Insight Timer, but I couldn't get it to work on my phone because I use LineageOS with no Google at all on it and it required Google Play Services to work. So instead I found this timer on F-Droid, which also has lots of nice bell sounds.

I did just five minutes because I felt tired but didn't want to "sit" in bed for once, so I counted three dozens.

without even planning for it, i ate lunch pretty quickly and had plenty of free time before work resumed, so i took that as a hit to meditate (but still forgot to use streak.club, so late submit it is again). Counted a half gross, and I think that helped remove some of the anxious thoughts that always show up on workdays.

after late submitting a bit on here, I tried to tell myself I would commit to meditating outside of bed tomorrow, and went to meditate in bed again. At least it helps me sleep a bit I guess, though I still don't sleep enough. Did a body scan, and I think I started counting, but everything went fuzzy after that so I guess that did relax me.

spending the friday evening out really did a number on me, since i felt too tired to follow up on most of my routines, spent the whole of saturday doing nothing really productive, and i just did some meditation again in bed. except this time, there were much less thoughts, because nothing really interesting happened during the day! i counted at least a half gross, so that was at least 10 minutes.

i woke up late in the morning so didn't have time to meditate before work. then during the workday, i didn't even think of taking five minutes to meditate because yay deadlines. and then after work i had to go run various urgent errands and then spent the evening with friends, so by the time i got home all I could do was go to sleep, except… i couldn't fall asleep.

so i meditated in bed, starting with a body scan to thoroughly check that i was completely comfortable, and then counting breaths, but often losing the count because i was distracted with all the activity of the day. i don't know how long this took since i wasn't watching a clock or under a timer…

did a half-gross early in the morning this time, while i felt motivated to do a lot of things. weirdly enough, it feels like it has reduced my ability to focus well? maybe it's just a matter of random sleepiness in the morning.

I went to sit after finishing the workday, but realized I was really tired, so once I did my typical half gross, I laid down on the couch and did a bodyscan to relax and let me fall asleep. I woke up two hours later, had dinner, and now I'm just ending the day and getting ready to go back to sleep. Guess I'll do another body scan huh

Was a bit less tired today, maybe because I drank cofe later than usual. I struggled a bit to focus in the middle of some anxious thoughts about various things at work. I still did three dozens, then a body scan, then three more dozens; doing both of those techniques seems to be working not too badly. I forgot to set the timer and did just fine without it.

It's Monday, so I'm back to feeling tired. I did a half-gross this time, but struggled to focus. At least I'm keeping the practice going I guess?