I sat for five minutes on my office chair again, but had a hard time handling the large amounts of stress from all the stuff that happened during the day. I went to bed, did a body scan to relax a bit, took a nap while hugging a blåhaj, and sat again after waking up in the late evening, during which I felt much calmer and could focus on my breath.
At the end of the day, I sat for five minutes on an office chair that I use less often, which felt a bit more comfortable on my legs that the couch due to it being higher. I tried to just focus on the breath without counting, but was distracted quite a lot, so I counted just two dozens to force myself to focus.
I tried to meditate during the day but nearly fell asleep while doing so (and I had to go back to work!), and when I went to bed in the evening, of course I couldn't fall asleep. So I again meditated to sleep, but this time with less anxious thoughts and more focus on just relaxing.
I was ful of distracted thoughts this morning. I tried counting using my fingers as 12s suggested on this streak's discussion board, but found that the sensation of touch on my fingers was distracting me even more from my breath.
I have been reading this book recently. I just got to the "how to actually medidate" part, and it mentions counting breaths, but only as a tool to get yourself to foucs on your breath, and to stop as soon as you have the focus. It also encourages focusing on the sensation of the breath coming in and out of your nose, unlike my own way of focusing on my chest, my lungs (that comes later when you are more accustomed to focusing on the breath). I might try to just solely rely on my timer and count less later.
I sat outside at a table in a local park that I did not know of at all, and had set up my ThinkPad to write what i Think in the note Pad, and most importantly to write what I see, do some contemplation. I remember that sitemeber is a thing, but I didn't feel comfortable keeping my eyes closed in a public spot for a few minutes, especially considering there were a few people nearby, so I kept my eyes focused on a nearby tree trunk and counted just a quarter gross, so five minutes.
Writing down what I saw was an interesting way to pay more attention to the neat details of the world and encourage me to get less anxious thoughts when outside, but for meditation specifically, I would rather keep on doing it alone, in a calm, safe place.
I set the timer app to give me 10 seconds to get ready, ring a bell to mention the beginning of the session, ring a different bell every 5 minutes, and ring a third bell at the end of the timer, and then I can set the meditation duration I want in 5 minute increments. I can use that to get the "middle" bell that tells me I did the sitember goal and just decide to stop there or keep going. For now I just set the total duration to 10 minutes so I have just one bell 5 minutes in and the final bell at 10 minutes.
I meditated quite late, so I was a bit tired. I first did a few things that involved walking around the flat to wake myself up a bit, then I got started. I did a quarter gross, in which I was quite distracted. I heard the 5min bell, decided to keep going, did a body scan which forced me to move my attention around my body and busy myself enough to quiet my thoughts, and counted another quarter gross which went much better. I finished that quarter gross about 30 seconds after the final bell.
yay, one half of the streak!
I did 5 minutes, and when the bell rang, i just pressed on the start button on the phone next to me again without even opening my eyes just to do five more minutes. I did a half gross, and listened to the nearby sounds for a bit, noticing how I felt about them.
I wrote 1 page in my random notes notebook at work. I filled the 8 remaining pages in my diary, and got cut off in the middle of a sentence, so I grabbed a Field Notes notebook, made that my 36th diary, and wrote 5 more pages. I also wrote a few lines in my bullet journal.
did a half gross in 10 minutes, sitting on the couch as usual in the middle of the living room. this was while a thunderstorm was slowly approaching the city, and i had all my windows open, which means there were random short and scary-sounding gusts of wind coming through. i'm usually really anxious from those gusts because i fear something is going to fall off and break, and this has helped me calm down a bit and allow the wind to cool my room down.