it hurts

i know how horrible it feels to want to be seen so i carry a camera and shoot this feeling out of others? and masturbate with it too?

also what the fucccck i forgot i had found my favorite hat in march after having lost it for months... then it disappeared shortly after once the housing panic started. god damn........

also also fuck i used to dress a lot more fun. and go out more. ugh. it's too hot and non air conditioned in here for me to think anything like that though. i'm barely more than a corpse right now. it's all so heavy. so so sos os so so os so heavy. there's still so much to do. fuck.