The plot of the game was good but you didn´t focused well on its the objective or purpose but in short, it is understood that it is to kill the enemies and protect the army.
The narrative was offensive because just the fact of killing tribes you can have negative feedback from some of your audience because it´s a derision towards the people who belong to civilizations or tribes and for the ones who protect their rights. Instead of naming an specific group of people “tribe” you can put clan. It will sound less offensive.
In the audience you didn´t specify what type of people would like to play your game and their tastes.
Finally, you have some typos and mistakes in your writing. The names of characters should go in capital case. For instance, izumi <-Izumi and so forth. Also, some sentences lacked fluency because you should separate some with a period and put some words in between. For instance, between lack and control in missed the word “that”. And last but not least, the beginning of few sentences should´ve gone in capital letter.
Hi,
The plot of the game was good but you didn´t focused well on its the objective or purpose but in short, it is understood that it is to kill the enemies and protect the army.
The narrative was offensive because just the fact of killing tribes you can have negative feedback from some of your audience because it´s a derision towards the people who belong to civilizations or tribes and for the ones who protect their rights. Instead of naming an specific group of people “tribe” you can put clan. It will sound less offensive.
In the audience you didn´t specify what type of people would like to play your game and their tastes.
Finally, you have some typos and mistakes in your writing. The names of characters should go in capital case. For instance, izumi <-Izumi and so forth. Also, some sentences lacked fluency because you should separate some with a period and put some words in between. For instance, between lack and control in missed the word “that”. And last but not least, the beginning of few sentences should´ve gone in capital letter.