HAHA... So I wrote this thing tonight Terry Pratchett-style because of a joke a friend made in the WaniKani forums... Buahaha...!

I did it even though I felt my brain was muddled and mushy, and all tired...

And posted it on the forum as follows:

Aikibujin said... *shakes head* at Anime.

Edit: Anime now you have to write a post, TP style, from the view point of a Cave-gina. @_@

You asked for it!

And now...

The Tale of Cave-Gina

~~~PROLOGUE~~~

From the dawn of time*...

There have always been multiple worlds. A plethora of worlds, in fact. For in fact, if this were not so, how would we be imparting this knowledge to you now? For without worlds, societies would not exist, and without societies, there would be no culture. Without culture, there would not be much point in living, and so people would cease to exist rather quickly due to boredom. Other life too, would be bored, and also choose to stop living, as it is the existence of peoples and cultures that narrate stories.

Without stories, we are nothing, and countless worlds do not exist.

But I digress...

Even so, this is one such story, that has been passed down from before the days of old, before even the times of the grandfathers** of the days of old.

It is a story that took place in the far corners of the minds of an ancient god, content in slumber. Yes, this god had not one, not two, but four minds. However this story was so powerful, that it rippled across the first mind into the second, and from the second into the fourth***, from the forth into the left elbow of the god, which made the god laugh, having hit the funnybone, and then finally into the third mind.

It was within the third mind that this particular story set up camp and really grew up and took shape.

The shape of the story was at first that of an amorphous universe, within which numerous galaxies popped up in mere Planck times, the last of which housed three solar systems which could sustain life. It was on the furthest rock from the furthest sun within this lone galaxy, in the furthest corner of the ancient god's third mind, where there sprouted a dark, sprawling, craggy mountain range which covered nearly half the surface area of said rock - the Mountains of Ul'Aerth.

The Mountains of Ul'Aerth remained uninhabited for countless millennia****, until finally the lichen began to grow in the dampness of the melting icecaps, and cold, showering waterfalls began to plummet from their tops to form clear pools of chill baths... and finally, other life began to move in. This other life ranged from a variety of flora and fauna - mostly fauna - and took shelter in the many caves that riddled the Mountains of Ul'Aerth's Southern side.

In one of the fairly standard, average-sized caves, lived a girl.

This girl, was no ordinary cavegirl*****, for she was

CAVEGINA.

______________________________________________________

* Not to be confused with The Dawn of Time, a youthful, hip, twenty-something woman (we can't be sure of her exact age for reasons about to be explained) who was born during both Equinoxes and Solstices at the same time by sheer accident while her parents copulated at what appeared to be the edge of a black hole, but in reality was a major rift in the space-time-narrative, quite possibly being a nexus to all times at once. And so, because of this strange conception, Dawn is able to control time to a moderate degree, as well as slip in, out, and through it in either direction. This is of course, is why we also can't be sure of her exact age, but she looks fairly young regardless.

** And grandmothers, granduncles, great aunts, and grand nieces, as well as the grand piano; for a piano so grand as all that has certainly existed in the hearts and souls of living beings since the dawn of time itself...

*** The story itself doesn't like following typical structures, so of course counting linearly is out of the question, you understand.

**** Simply because no one was around to count them as they passed by - unless of course Dawn happened to visit, perhaps? Of this, there is no mention, however.

***** Except for in the traditional ways, as she had both a Cave-Mom and a Cave-Dad, as well as a Cave-Brother named Caveryan who often picked on her for being nearly as strong as he was, but not quite, and also because she would go out and hunt for their supper while other cavegirls her age were more interested in picking ice-lilies and making jewelry out of lichen and twigs. They called it the time of Cavemen for a reason... however that was all about to change...