10/10

All of my stuff from SF arrived today. Abel is moved out of the tiny room which is, as of a few hours ago, my Office. I have a dinky monitor set up, but a monitor nonetheless. I have a shabby desk that we found 3 years ago on the side of the street, but it's a big solid surface and Meyers Clean Day (tm) makes good as new.. And then I have my fancy pants chair and keyboard from work mmmmhmmm. I don't have that little cushion pad for the keyboard, but I need it, because my wrists do not rest well without it. Also I think the floor is slanted because my chair sort of rolls. But this is all such an upgrade. Even at Albion, I was at that desk that I made too tall and then too small on that little lad wooden chair. I have been working at a macbook without any keyboard or mouse for 6 months and one week. I am very excited to have my battle station back.

Also excited to keep the clutter of coffee mugs and spoon-streaked yogurt bowls somewhere that's not my bedroom. work / life, baby

As an aside, and also frustrating because I can't buy new light bulbs for this very harsh light, is that both my debit card and my credit card are cancelled. I have my CC with me, but there were charges to gas stations and a Best Buy and Boost Mobiles in SF. I tried to get a bagel this morning from Rockstar and they only accept cards bc of COVID so I got another migas taco.

My mom today told me that I should probably get a physical because I'm getting old (but also still would probably not think to get a physical if my mom had not recommended it, which -- uh --- whoops), and I think it is good timing, because those papa joe's migas tacos are definitely some heart attack tacos.

CLAKCKCLACKLACKALCKALCKALACK
AND the 'office' is on the other end of the house from the bedrooms so I can clack away AND be courteous about it AND I can have Private Phone Calls too.

5/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOex0rqgkBU

Coworker posted in work chat music channel "happy weeb friday everyone i am back with ya boy takayan aka some very nice indie jtrap "

I think it's a fun song, and I've listened to it enough times tonight that it's stuck in my head, which is a pretty good indication that it's doing its function. Not my jam, but definitely a jam.

As far as the lyrics, they are pretty ////edgy////. Ex:
"Take care of other’s happiness
True self? Ohh... Where is it??
Sick of those abusive comments
It’s fine, soon or later, you’ll find your place to be"

I -- think that the audience for this is not me? Although, I have also watched Spinel's 'Drift Away' video on YY more times than I can count, and it hits the same sort of -- baseline tragedy of unacceptance and putting more than you get in. I think Spinel is the worst character in S.U., but I can understand why young kids would identify so much more with her than, say, Pearl (who has the more ///adult// problem of inheriting responsibility after a loved one is lost with 'It's Over, Isn't It?'

Spinel has been on my mind a lot (bc she is all over the S.U. subreddit) and the first thought I had when reading these lyrics on the YouTube subtitle ticker were "these lyrics appeal to what makes young people identify with spinel." BUT I'm missing a piece there, which is (concept that coworker explained) of Menhara:

"yeaaa takayan is an edgy lad. he indulges in menhera culture/aesthetic which is kind of like trying to make cute aspects of working through mental health as part of like normalizing/reclaiming it as part of your art. its a whole movement in japan similar to deco-kei, visual-kei, but somewhat newer as young people are attempting to embrace mental health in their own ways in a culture that historically doesnt believe in mental wellness/mental health until recently !"

Deeper definition:
Menhera (メンヘラ)* is a japanese slang term derived from “Mental Healther*”. It became the spark of a sickly cute aesthetic that takes the abiguous usage of the word “sick”, like as an insult for something nonconformist, literally as reflection of the social stigma which still hides behind the surface of “Kawaii Culture”. ( https://fymenhera.tumblr.com/info )

"It’s not the illness that is made cute - it’s showing that cute people aren’t immune to suffering as illness can hit everyone and that denying someone’s suffering, only because they don’t “look” like it, is dangerous and harmful."

His Instagram definitely confirms this edginess. First reaction to screenshotted IG post ( https://www.instagram.com/p/CFE3RrgjCTp/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link ) was ' this guy making cutting a cute thing huh?" -- but found the song and its lyrics from that post, and it's also very self lovey.

Anyway, I've listened to this song so many times today.

9/10

THE STREAK'S BACK BABY

damn this song rocks
all of Wlfgrl album rocks too
WHERE is my SHADOW BACKBACK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9rMy1teYXQ

7/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BbEro20Juc

another pull from a PT set unfff fff god
oh man it's honcho weekend right now
can you even believe it?

8/10
https://octoocta.bandcamp.com/album/for-lovers

octo octa and eris drew hanging out in NH woods sounds like a dream

i am tired

goodnight

before 1AM this time

gotta get on a normal schedule -- or, make a non-productive but time consuming day of work less of the norm

5.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsiU67jzYiw

Was listening to 'Ode to Boy' and figured I should listen to something else by Yaz. This is on the same 'best of' compilation, and I know that I've heard this baseline before, but it's stumping me. It is normally played -- with more urgency. Take from 0:34 - 1:00 (it repeats a few times, but this is the snippet). No information on whosampled.com. is this a cover? I would be surprised, it's from 1983, and it doesn't make sense that, in 83, they would toned down a baseline used in an earlier song.

Coincidentally, today I confirmed that the screaming mummy from that meme is the scream from 'Guillotine' by Death Grips. I thought it the first time but never confirmed, and I messaged Jane (I had discussed this video with her) to see if she had the video anywhere/ knew where it was posted, and she had it saved. It is the same. I think most people who liked Death Grips at some point would make that connection, but - just confirms that I'm not always off base with the 'this sounds so familiar'-ing.

But there was also that hunt when I was absolutely certain that MBV had played an homage (equivalent of sampling I guess) to Led Zeppelin's "Rain Song" (the string part here at 1:35 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRt4hQs3nH0 ) on Loveless. I listened to Loveless so many times to pin it down, but I think I was just hearing things.

This Yaz song is fine, but I am interested more in if I'm nuts with that baseline. 'Ode to Boy' much better.

6.5/10

This is a fine song.

What the shrek is happening in Portland?

This whole dang thread https://twitter.com/MrOlmos/status/1285095836339200000

How is this constitutional?

Watching these videos feels like -- a childhood injustice where it doesn't matter because child and perceived as child, unable to challenge the power. The injustice here! And the fact that it is just going to get spun as necessary because the protests were already out of hand. How -- how -- how -- how -- how can someone look at this, and say that the protestors had it coming, or that the protests are stoking the flames, or misguided, or stupid? I've seen talk like this on Twitter comments sections and Twitter and it just blows my mind. It blows my mind. It's a military invasion of a city ----- that in itself is worthy of protest, which is to say nothing of Floyd and the general pursuit of justice and BLM.

Another reflection is --- Portland? Of all places? I'm a little impressed by the gusto of that city tonight. The videos of the mothers in helmets at the front lines in particular. All of this is making the bogeyman of antifa real and organized and powerful. Literally anti-fascist. But these troops will not leave unless court ordered. Would Trump ever back down from this? Would Portland? Will the state have to broker some sort of peace to get the fed agents out? If the 2nd amendment surrounding oregonians move in, and escalate with citizen gunfire, what then? Or, if someone takes fire on the federal agents, and hellfire returns in kind? Or -- if the movement as a whole becomes generally antifascist and in doing so deflects the momentum that BLM had for white accountability, and this devolves into the same old trope of people versus the government. The trope where is orange man was not in power that everything would be OK. Obviously, orange man is terrible, especially now -- but that's not what this started out to be about. It was institutional. It WAS criticizing the states, and the local budgets, and our neighbors, and mine own mind. And now it's just orange man and The State. that is dissapointing.

And these agents are going to be occupying additional cities? This cannot be legal.

Tonstartssbandht always gets me in a meditative space. I've listened to An When more than most albums. I was listening to Ra Wah Wah by the Psychic Ills (it is on my 'Fantasy DJ Set' playlist, which --- will likely remain just that) and it gets me in a similar way. Surprisingly, though, the Psychic Ills are not signed to Sacred Bones! -- Either way, Ra Wah Wah got me thinking of Ton, and it turns out they have a new track. It has piano, which is something new. But it doesn't do much besides that. I don't think anything from them will ever come close to An When for me. The famiar envelope of that whole album. But! It is nice to see that they are making stuff. I wonder what they are thinking about Portland.

9/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvqSnSSF2i4

I stopped work "early" and made that gin drink. Most excited I've been in a while to Listen To Music, and just giddily have been browsing youtube, while looking through bill brewster's bible. i went to the back, where it has the club charts, and flipped to Shoom -- Shoom has come up a lot, and all the associated acts are ones that get me going. First one on the list of the Shoom 50 (alphabetical order) was this song. I've heard of a guy called gerald w/r/t acid house, but couldn't name a song. now i can, and i'm glad to be able to. Also, I wiki'd, and it loos like he was an early member of 808 state! (it always comes back to 808 state or front 242, huh?)

IN this RBMC interview, gerald talks about the importance of protecting your IP and making sure you get royalties, and the interviewer does not seem very interested, but it's practical and good advice! that part starts around 55 mins. And then at around an hour, the host puts on Pacific highways and asks gerald to talk about the hacienda, sort of fishing for a nice reminiscing over the track, but it seems very distracting during an interview, and gerald pauses a few times. i think the host turns it down a little bit. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz6z7FpbUaE )

Tonight I've been going back into spotify songs i havent listened to in a while, through the lens of CDJ. i have to start downloading music again? it's been so long

:u_1_j << here is a skiing emoji i just made

9/10

https://soundcloud.com/honeysoundsystem/hnypot-370-keenan-orrs-dee-in-the-bee-mix?in=honeysoundsystem/sets/honey-soundsystem-potcast

dnb babayyy

8.5/10

https://soundcloud.com/honchopgh/campoutseries-midland

Still so good (8.5/10)
I listened all day
I will do a new tomorrow
give me my green square though please : )

8/10

https://soundcloud.com/doublescorpio/keenan-orr-no7-face-down-mix

bah ba dee
bah bah dah
alla ay
huadah day
bah ba dee
bah bah dah
pah pah pee
ah ah ahh
ooooooooooooooh
ooooooooooooooh
ooooooooooooooh

keenan orr rocks. he is the one that played 'i miss you' in mexico city, i can't find that set anywhere, which is a serious shame. i stayed in that sweaty backroom for, what, 5 hours? he kept me glued. this is a fun mix.

6/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEQ783l19S8

I think when I went to see a Merle Haggard cover ban in Austin a few years ago -- Evan's mom was visiting and I went to meet them -- I got strange looks for saying "mer-ley."

I am now back in Austin, back on Evan's palmello-bug porch, listening to Merle, and his mom is not here to hear me say Merl-. Or is it George Strait? Or someone else? Who wants to get back to Tulsa, again? I know that it wasn't Bob Willis, because that version is a bit more ....dated.... in its description of just who is picking the cotton. In any case, listening to all of these versions of this song reminds me of driving to work in the Mazda early morning, with Country Standard Time radio show on KOOP, with the callers going "awwww heeere we go now! / ahwwww take her around now" -- which is to say, I've never been to Tulsa, but it's good to be back here. I'm still too young to marry. The Older team of contestants on survivor are 40+; the younger team of contestants are younger than 30.

2/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7FRNpb5Tfc

If you made a web site that I'm typing on, then you know that I can simply never get enough of Donna Lewis' "I Love You Always Forever" lately ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqdWTeXWvOg ) -- that is a 10! But, what else does she have even? I checked her Spotify, trying to find a diamond in the rough of some of her lesser known songs. Nothing stands out form her original stuff but, lo and behold, she has a cover of another song that I can simply never get enough of and is also a 10! Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill"!

Unfortunately, this cover was clearly made by a machine that listened to all the songs that happen when a Main Character dies on Grey's Anatomy, and then someone fed it 'running up that hill' and it was a little low on battery so it just spat this out so it could go back to trying to predict the likelihood that Meredith's little sis would make it past season 6 -- the swelling strings, the enveloped production, the whisper, the silence, the swell -- oh man you could back so many teary faces into this. Unfortunately, the tempo of the song doesn't match up perfectly to a heartbeat monitor, as it did with with "Breathe" in what is, without a doubt, one of my favorite television moments of all time. [[[**Speaking of which - if you are reading this, please, please, please watch this clip all the way through. Do not skip around, or hover the mouse for thumbnails. Please just watch this clip. You will not regret it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCZU8EAn-sI ** }}} - Um --

Yeah this is a bad song, a bad cover. Would work in a series finale of a medical drama though. It's ok donna, I wasn't expecting anything more, and i will still love you always forever

2/10

Animation and story are pretty good, soundtrack isn't that good

But tbf i'm only a few episodes in, maybe the soundtrack gets better -- but it seems like mostly an afterthought. Will update if it gets better.

8.5/10

https://soundcloud.com/honchopgh/campoutseries-midland

The set begins with an interview Larry Kramer, about early activism organizing for Act Up! It's a beautiful start -- and hit in a particular place today, drawing the lineage of a society hopping struggle, to struggle, to struggle. It also hits because, thinking of late 80s-90s in queer organizing, thinking of SF, I think of The Stud, which has just closed its SOMA location. They had a farewell Twitch stream tonight, but too much else happening -- including the fact that I was working tonight -- to pay attention. But, further connection, I saw Midland in September 2018 (I had to check my phone for that one -- old text messages; James from Honcho sent me the link -- why was I in San Francisco in September 2018??? I think I went to this show with a coworker at Facebook -- was I in town for work?) -- in any case, it was a night that made me really appreciate what San Francisco has to offer. The Stud is something special (and I remember it being a great, sweaty, shirtless dreamland of a show -- and I remember thinking it was strange to take your shirt off at a bar, even it was a gay bar. Man how that has changed. Shit, am i circuit??)

Brief notes about protest today;
There was a strong critical mass, a strong energy when in the street, destination, chanting, a sense of purpose to it. There were community mics at stops, and, while I couldn't hear most of what was being said (the mics were not nearly loud enough fro the situation), I was still grateful to see (black) voices preaching to the crowd, and not just (a lotta white pp) walking, chanting, walking, a different chant, 'playing' protest (i count myself in that group, for what it's worth). It ended at city hall, where the same two factions from yesterday - the peaceful group who was plugging their instagrams outside of the burrito shop yesterday, and the aggressive group who was challenging the peaceful group to not stand outside of the burrito shop and instead get in the cops' faces at the police station (which, to be fair, was across the street). I appreciate the efforts of the peaceful faction, but their calls for peaceful protest were fairly dismissive (you are wasting your energy; this is not about the police) -- they had the platform they had the stage, but there was not a strong message. I think the strongest message to the crowd was emphasizing the importance of voting in November, as if this is all about Trump vs Biden ("When black people don't vote, we turn red") or something similar. it essentially became a rally for Joe Biden. Again, in favor of peaceful protest, but this -- sort of missed the point. An optimistic, and seemingly productive part, was the crowd kneeling, and chanting for the cops outside the doors of city hall to do the same. They (unsurprisingly) did not.

I came home and watched more on a very tense Twitch, with this Midland set playing in the background. The combination was good. The streams were stressful. A protester / leader in Portland handed a mic to the sergeant over a fence, so they could have a dialog, and get him to agree to demands -- in this way, it was a peaceful protest (like SF faction was trying to maintain) but was still challenging in good ways. Austin stream looked like it had mostly died down.

There is more to write about both this set and the Midland set. I can't place the song that closes out the midland set, and it is frustrating --I know I had it on one of those piles of burned mix CDs. No. What is this song? (Caribou! Niobe! - okay, i can sleep Ok)

skip today; very tired, was falling asleep on couch

protest today - two factions of protest, out-microphoning the other (violence vs non-violence)
home, made frog-shaped load of bread
fish goodbye dinner with housemates
the fish was not good
cocktails
while watching livestream of what the day's protest turned into
avatar
too tired for music listening n writing tonight

8.5/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2Eah_EGiDc

I think I could listen to this endlessly. I likely will. This was sampled in Physical Therapy's Honcho set (where else would I find anything?) -- I went to that mix because I checked out El's submission, and knew that 'how it feels' song sounded familiar. 'Tell Me (How It Feels)' closed out that absurdly optimistic set, following a remix of Fergie's Glamorous and a remix, "Flawless," by was The Ones. Listening to the whole set, closed out by these samples, that optimism feels so familiar, but weirdly distant, now. No night is being closed down, in that sense -- summer as we knew it isn't happening this year. Summer is going to be a different kind of break from reality this year; just about everything that could be going wrong in America seems to be, and this summer, I feel some sort of heat around, is going to be different. A bleak break, where something new, finally, will take form. A good new. Washing away of the sins, Or, at least the beach waves coming in. Is that ignorant optimism? It really feels like the hope of community is the only hope that there is right now -- institutions be damned (and yes, institutions are damned). Bernie getting ousted, Coronavirus rising, Amazon surging, and George Floyd being the latest example of completely unchecked racist-fueled human cruelty -- we are either going to be singing about the Baby's Eyes that, innocent upon birth, became part of a harrowed sociopathic man. or Eyes which grew into something, please, something new, some sort of change, out of all of this. The rage has to mean something, this time. Rodney King was almost 30 years ago. That is absurd. the rage has to mean something, this time. Coupled with all the other fires right now -- there has to be something from these flames, and I am feeling more urgency to be a part of making that so than I ever have.

It's fairly late. This hook will not leave my head tonight, not a chance. This is a bad entry. Barely wrote about the song, sorta just blah blah'd. The song is good too. I keep watching the news, I googled "Jacob Frey" shirtless. Some of the speeches that are being made by protesters are so natural and powerful and necessary and insightful and inspiring and enraging. I gotta shut my lappy.

6/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6v7HxN19W8

I am in the process of tearing out a house of cards that is three years' worth of legacy logic in zendesk. I am feeling like Neo seeing the Matrix -- everything is making sense in a way that it hasn't the past few times I have tried to do this. This normally feels like any change to the stack -- with all its competing logic and strange ordering and new set of signals for what-means-what that each person who touched this tried to move to --, but it seems so simple tonight. Ripping it all out. baby.

So, I googled best techno songs to HACK to because that is how I am feeling, OK?

Came back with a 1hour mix (screenshot) so i picked a track this track from the tracklist. I guess, yes, this is dubstep and not techno, but this is still fine to work through. I also realize that, while I know what dubstep sounds like, I don't really know what would define a track as dubstep (besides sounding like dub, and having a heavy bass). This is very different from EDM dubstep, or the cheesy drops and such, and is more atmospheric, which is a good return for my google search.

I watched a quick youtube video in incognito mode 'googled: what is dubstep, anyway?'). Characteristics from that vid & how this song matches up:
Tempo: 135 - 150 (check! this song is around 140)
Kick on 1; Snare on 3 (check!)
Prominent Sub bass (check.- but not overwhelming, which is probably what makes this song more up my alley than what I normally associated with diubstep)

unreviewed

https://soundcloud.com/jamiedmusic/the-hardiker-tape

I think the sound quality on the google DRIVE file is not great - soundcloud is above instead. either way, I very passively listened to this while working. Not reviewing tonight, want to close screen earlier than later so I'm not sleepy again tomorrow.

note to relisten to this

here's a cartoon that seems appropriate for the past few days

8/10

3.5 hours of bliss ------ with way too many ad breaks thrown in to throw it off ;__;

Andrew Weatherall died of a pulmonary embolism at 56 (NYT obit: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/21/arts/music/andrew-weatherall-dead.html ) - in hindsight, with what we know about COVID and blood-clotting, it could have been related? He died just a week or two before the mexico city trip for backdoor XL (which was also right when people were starting to talk about COVID more + came in just a few weeks ahead of the west shutting down), and Mouthfeel served him right with the 'Soon' cover to close out his set; since that trip, I've been just gushing over everything I've listened to that he was involved with. Learning more about him definitely reframes how I think about Primal Scream / Screamadelica (a very good album that sounds like if the rolling stones made a concept album about heroin has turned into a very good album that bridges dance and rock in a way that ushered in a sound that came to define the 90s).

This mix is a birthday party for primal scream, in 2011 (so, guessing a 20th anniversary of Screamadelica -- wow, the fact that Screamadelica is going to be 30 this year is strange? Not that it makes me feel old -- I didn't listen to that album until a few years ago -- but I just feel like. The 90s always feel the same amount of time away; The 2000s and 2010s took 8 years, max) ------ It's a great mix for an after party. The Orb "little fluffy clouds" remix that it starts out with is a nice way to set the stage in the early 90s and call to mind primal scream without being too on the nose, while also bringing it more to the present with a more contemporary sounding cover. The mix does dip a bit into heroin den territory in the middle, but never too much, and made working tonight very pleasant. Just seems perfect for an after party setting.

All this aside, wow, there were so many ads on this YouTube video. Even now, I'm trying to go back and revisit parts that I liked, and I'm getting hit with a 15 sec Geico ad each time. Most of the ads are COVID-related (Wells Fargo: On Demand is so special, especially now! And you can do On Demand with banking, too! || VRBO: Find the house that makes the vacation, etc.). Given that he ...seems? to have died from COVID, it seems like a slap in the face trying to listen to this mix and celebrate him, and then have to watch and click through an ad related to COVID for what seemed like every 10 minutes of the set (but what was likelier every 20-30 mins) >;1

Not going to sign up for youtube premium -- but would also be devasted if youtube started taking down its music librarty. there is so much on there, and the comments section has been such a treat during this streak club.