7 was invented by god he wanted to make it easy on the early people to make a week

the last words of the girl who literally died when brangelina broke up "NO"

Zen amazon reccomendations: Hey, you buy this shampoo and it works or it doesn't. But your hair is still your hair

I'm going to write a show about a guy who finds out corporate finance secret. THe main character will be named bill. The show – DOLLAR BILL

wouldnt it be cute if there was a show about 2 kids who solve crimes using chess knowledge called CHECK MATES?! IT WOULD BE CUTE

thanks to all the haters for keeping me on my toes, but you can stop now, i wear high heels a lot

soon you all will have children named petunia and you're gonna call'em Tunie for short and it will be adorable. just wait. #namepsychic

as a white middle class girl I'm humiliated whenever i get upset about anything that is in itself humiliating

I'm pretty scared of dating. I mean, I can barely commit to the idea of one universe

today a bird chirped at me. damn street harassment, it's biological

there's a fork in the road and you could either go out or there and you picked wrong

putting my self 'out there' ...but where is out and where is there, no one has ever been specific just sayin

i can't tonight I'm currently putting my self out there

I'm putting myself out there no you're not flings self from window, lands on pile of tomatoes yes i am, this is it isn't it

the day i watched bull durham i lost my virginity. it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time

track practice hours and music progress basedon aritists way and cognitive science --- not a joke, a good idea

turner and hooch would make horrible baristas

"genders doin stuff" - series premiere next on ABC family

we're all just trying to catch the G train of life

when people disappear from facebook, what are they doing?






comedy packet

write everyday to get jokes, rants, bits and sketches for a comedy writing sample

daily from 2015-04-07 to 2015-05-01